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Are you the family scapegoat?


What Are Some Family Scapegoat Signs?

  • Are you routinely criticized, blamed, shunned or singled out for mistreatment by one or more family members?

  • Do you get discredited or attacked when you try to stand up for yourself, or point out the truth about negative family relationship dynamics?

  • Have you tried to stay in contact with family members only to feel misunderstood, put down or rejected over and over again?

  • Do you struggle with self doubt, low self esteem, find it hard to achieve your potential, or have difficulty trusting intimate partners?

If you answered Yes to these questions, then you may be the scapegoat of a narcissistic family!

Break Free From Narcissistic Abuse & Feel Like The Family Scapegoat No More!

Did you know that if you have been mistreated or scapegoated by your family, then you are at much higher risk of struggling with some form of false shame, blame and guilt. You might also suffer from chronic grief, anxiety or low self worth. Or perhaps your life is being undermined by unresolved relationship trauma.

Whatever you are grappling with, you have likely been ‘programmed’ by family to believe you are flawed. This programming can live inside you as a punitive belief system – aka the ‘Troll’. You may also have trouble accessing your emotions, making it harder to have a clear idea of what you need – or don’t need – or to tap into your motivation.

With the help of therapy, you can learn to conquer these difficulties. By standing up to negative beliefs with reality based thinking, while exploring and understanding your emotions more fully, you will discover how to break free from faulty programming, trust yourself more, overcome trauma symptoms, and reclaim your true self identity – and peace of mind – in the present.

What Are Some Family Scapegoat Signs?

  • Are you routinely criticized, blamed, shunned or singled out for mistreatment by one or more family members?

  • Do you get discredited or attacked when you try to stand up for yourself, or point out the truth about negative family relationship dynamics?

  • Have you tried to stay in contact with family members only to feel misunderstood, put down or rejected over and over again?

  • Do you struggle with self doubt, low self esteem, find it hard to achieve your potential, or have difficulty trusting intimate partners?

If you answered Yes to these questions, then you may be the scapegoat of a narcissistic family!

Scapegoating is a form of family bullying and ‘identity theft’ that can result in low self worth, chronic anxiety, lack of achieving your potential, complex trauma and relationship difficulties.

Therapy can help you recover your self identity, sense of worth and purpose, peace of mind and security in relationships.


Scapegoating often starts in childhood or youth, when one member of a narcissistic family is targeted as the ‘fall guy’ for the family’s problems. Children who are scapegoated tend to be picked on due to their sensitivity, vulnerability, or refusal to keep up appearances and stay silent in an unhealthy family atmosphere.

Scapegoating is a form of narcissistic abuse and bullying that causes injury to a young person’s emerging sense of self-identity. Young people who are targeted in this way often grow up into adults who feel chronically flawed, inadequate or – at worst – ashamed. At the same time, they may feel intense anger at the unfair treatment they’ve had to endure.

Unfortunately, most scapegoats come to believe – on some level – the family myth that they are the bad guy, rather than understanding they are being abused. Buying into the belief that one is ‘bad’ seriously undermines a person’s sense of self-worth. Sometimes this belief is unconscious, whereby the scapegoat believes that their inadequacy is a ‘fact’.

Healthy families take responsibility for difficulties as they occur, and take steps to try and resolve challenges constructively. This does not occur in families who scapegoat another family member. In fact, the opposite is true. Scapegoating is an attempt by a narcissistic family system to deny, minimize or deflect responsibility for problem behavior and relationship challenges by making the target the problem.

The negative impact of scapegoating can be far-reaching. Scapegoats may have difficulty living up to their potential or fulfilling their life’s dreams due to chronic self-doubt or feeling flawed. They may have difficulty developing healthy, trusting relationships. Scapegoats can also experience recurring patterns of disrespect, abuse or bullying from family, friends or colleagues.

Still wondering if you have been scapegoated? Here’s the link to a popular and groundbreaking article I wrote on family scapegoating that will help you understand the signs and how to heal: 12 Steps to Healing From Being the Family Scapegoat